1 00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:14,625 - Whoa, hey, hey! - Come on. 2 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:17,027 It's 7:30. Are we having dinner tonight? 3 00:00:17,027 --> 00:00:18,562 Seriously, Brick? 4 00:00:18,562 --> 00:00:20,764 There's just the three of us. Do we really have to do that? 5 00:00:20,764 --> 00:00:22,099 Well, aren't you hungry? 6 00:00:22,099 --> 00:00:25,535 Well, the guys got Jim a party sub for his birthday, so I'm good. 7 00:00:25,535 --> 00:00:26,870 I grabbed a burrito on the way home. 8 00:00:26,870 --> 00:00:28,572 I was gonna get one for everybody, 9 00:00:28,572 --> 00:00:30,540 but you really got to eat Taco Jason's while it's hot, 10 00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:31,842 before it hardens up. 11 00:00:31,842 --> 00:00:33,443 Seriously?! 12 00:00:33,443 --> 00:00:35,746 You both ate and didn't even think about me? 13 00:00:35,746 --> 00:00:37,014 Look, Brick. 14 00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:39,516 We just came off of a big push getting Sue into college, 15 00:00:39,516 --> 00:00:41,118 and we just need a break. 16 00:00:41,118 --> 00:00:42,586 It's like how when we drive Dad's car 17 00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:44,755 all the way to grandma's and we have to let it 18 00:00:44,755 --> 00:00:46,924 sit for a while or it won't turn on again. 19 00:00:46,924 --> 00:00:48,458 We're like that right now. 20 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:50,460 We're just like parental beater cars. 21 00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:53,497 Yeah. Just give us a couple months to recharge. 22 00:00:53,497 --> 00:00:58,502 You still have to take care of me. I'm still here. I'm still in school. 23 00:00:58,502 --> 00:01:01,371 I mean, not officially, but once Mom fills out the paperwork... 24 00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:04,474 Yeah, but it's eighth grade. Not really an important year. 25 00:01:04,474 --> 00:01:06,910 I promise... when you get to ninth grade, we'll give it a big push. 26 00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:08,378 - If not ninth, tenth. - Right. 27 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,581 Hey, Brick. 28 00:01:13,350 --> 00:01:15,886 Hand me that remote, would you? 29 00:01:23,894 --> 00:01:25,896 Aww, see, Mike? 30 00:01:25,896 --> 00:01:29,599 I have to beg Axl to call, but Sue's only been at college three days, 31 00:01:29,599 --> 00:01:31,468 and she's already texting that she loves me. 32 00:01:31,468 --> 00:01:33,937 See, that's what's so great about having a daughter. 33 00:01:33,937 --> 00:01:36,606 "Love you back." 34 00:01:40,877 --> 00:01:42,980 "Love you more." 35 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:47,117 "Love you to the moon and back." 36 00:01:50,988 --> 00:01:53,957 "Love you to the moon and back and back to the moon." 37 00:01:55,692 --> 00:01:59,796 "Okay. Watching 'Castle' now." 38 00:02:02,666 --> 00:02:04,801 "Tell Brick and dad I love them, too." 39 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:08,705 Oh, uh, excuse me. Lindsey? 40 00:02:08,705 --> 00:02:11,775 Oh, hey. You having a problem with your lamp, too? 41 00:02:11,775 --> 00:02:13,643 Oh, no. It's just, uh, 42 00:02:13,643 --> 00:02:16,613 my roommate still hasn't shown up, and it's been three days. 43 00:02:16,613 --> 00:02:19,616 Yeah. That's weird. 44 00:02:19,616 --> 00:02:20,751 Yeah. It's just been hard, you know, 45 00:02:20,751 --> 00:02:22,953 'cause there have been all these activities, 46 00:02:22,953 --> 00:02:25,122 and everybody tends to go with their roommates, 47 00:02:25,122 --> 00:02:28,125 and I just kind of had this idea of me and my roomie hanging out 48 00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:30,961 and getting to know each other, and I kind of thought freshman week 49 00:02:30,961 --> 00:02:33,764 was supposed to be this... Magical time. 50 00:02:33,764 --> 00:02:35,932 Yeah. It can be... 51 00:02:35,932 --> 00:02:38,835 For some people. 52 00:02:40,771 --> 00:02:44,608 So, anyway, do you know when Holly might be showing up? 53 00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:46,943 I figured you were the person to ask. 54 00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:50,943 And you did. So... Yeah. 55 00:02:54,751 --> 00:02:57,621 Meanwhile, Axl was having roommate problems of his own... 56 00:02:57,621 --> 00:02:58,889 About a million of them. 57 00:02:58,889 --> 00:03:01,058 There are ants everywhere! How did this happen?! 58 00:03:01,058 --> 00:03:04,428 Dude, it's getting worse. I thought you sprayed something. 59 00:03:04,428 --> 00:03:05,896 Yeah, well, all I had was Axe body spray. 60 00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:08,031 Well, now they're more confident than ever. 61 00:03:10,567 --> 00:03:12,069 Oh. 62 00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:15,439 Sue, we've been over this. You do not contact me. 63 00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:17,974 I will contact you, and that's only if Mom and Dad are dead. 64 00:03:17,974 --> 00:03:19,709 I know. I just had one quick question. 65 00:03:19,709 --> 00:03:22,979 Fine, but before you ask, remember you only get 10 questions for the year. 66 00:03:22,979 --> 00:03:23,980 Are you serious? 67 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:25,816 - Now you have nine. - Okay, okay, okay. 68 00:03:25,816 --> 00:03:27,617 Um, you know the I.D. cards we use for meals... 69 00:03:27,617 --> 00:03:28,819 Can we use them to buy books? 70 00:03:28,819 --> 00:03:30,654 And is the bookstore really crowded the first week? 71 00:03:30,654 --> 00:03:33,657 Yes, you can, and, no, it isn't. You're down to seven. 72 00:03:33,657 --> 00:03:35,826 Lose this number! 73 00:03:37,794 --> 00:03:38,929 I can't find the source. 74 00:03:38,929 --> 00:03:40,730 The ants are coming from all over the place. 75 00:03:40,730 --> 00:03:43,433 Well, maybe we just got to make our own source. 76 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:44,768 What, do you got a smokin'-hot ant queen in your pocket? 77 00:03:44,768 --> 00:03:48,004 No. We lure them all to the same location. 78 00:03:48,004 --> 00:03:49,139 Ants like sweets, right? 79 00:03:49,139 --> 00:03:52,576 Put out a bowl of syrup, lure them all in, they fall into it. 80 00:03:52,576 --> 00:03:54,978 Boom! They drown. And it's very humane. 81 00:03:54,978 --> 00:03:56,113 Wouldn't you want to die by syrup? 82 00:03:56,113 --> 00:03:57,981 - Oh, for sure. - Yeah, me, too. 83 00:03:57,981 --> 00:04:01,551 On the fourth day of freshman week and with no roommate in sight, 84 00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:04,421 Sue decided she was gonna go out there and make friends. 85 00:04:04,421 --> 00:04:06,056 Need a third? 86 00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:07,424 Mnh-mnh. 87 00:04:07,424 --> 00:04:08,925 Okay. 88 00:04:21,805 --> 00:04:23,507 Hey! 89 00:04:23,507 --> 00:04:24,841 Sue again? 90 00:04:24,841 --> 00:04:28,345 It's like the 20th text from her today. 91 00:04:28,345 --> 00:04:31,114 "How much shampoo should I use now that my hair is shorter? 92 00:04:31,114 --> 00:04:33,517 And do I really have to lather, rinse, and repeat, 93 00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:35,385 or is that just a scam?" Really, Frankie? 94 00:04:35,385 --> 00:04:37,587 Come on, Mike. She's adjusting to a new place. 95 00:04:37,587 --> 00:04:39,623 Well, she didn't just land on the planet. 96 00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:40,690 And she's less than an hour away. 97 00:04:42,092 --> 00:04:43,593 Hey, mom. "Back to school" night is next Monday, 98 00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:45,729 so here's the list of all my classes. 99 00:04:45,729 --> 00:04:48,098 Ugh. Brick, you don't really want me to go to this, do you? 100 00:04:48,098 --> 00:04:50,767 Actually, now that I'm the only kid, I thought you could both go. 101 00:04:52,469 --> 00:04:53,703 Don't you guys want to see my school? 102 00:04:53,703 --> 00:04:55,038 We've seen it, Brick. 103 00:04:55,038 --> 00:04:57,040 Yeah, and every year, it's the same spiel. 104 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,409 "This is gonna be the most exciting year ever." 105 00:04:59,409 --> 00:05:01,912 "We can't wait to get to know your unique and special child." 106 00:05:01,912 --> 00:05:03,380 If I have to listen to that crap again, 107 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,515 I swear I'm gonna take a bath with the toaster. 108 00:05:05,515 --> 00:05:07,584 Sorry, Brick. We're just done. 109 00:05:08,585 --> 00:05:11,087 "Do I like green beans?" 110 00:05:11,087 --> 00:05:15,087 "Yes. Only with butter." 111 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:17,527 Hey! You're still parenting Sue. 112 00:05:17,527 --> 00:05:19,963 Brick, you're in eighth grade. 113 00:05:19,963 --> 00:05:21,665 Sue just started college. 114 00:05:21,665 --> 00:05:23,867 It's like triage. Who do we save? 115 00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:26,536 Sue's the cerebral hemorrhage, and you're the sprained ankle. 116 00:05:26,536 --> 00:05:29,039 So, sorry. You've been tagged "non-critical." 117 00:05:29,039 --> 00:05:31,541 Fine. Then I won't even tell you about the pep rally. 118 00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:33,376 And as for this emergency medical form, 119 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,844 I guess I'll just put me. 120 00:05:34,844 --> 00:05:37,814 I swear... we're gonna care so much for high school. 121 00:05:37,814 --> 00:05:39,816 Hey! 122 00:05:39,816 --> 00:05:42,686 No. I know it's tough, but she's prepared. 123 00:05:42,686 --> 00:05:44,988 She knows how to kill a bug, how to turn off a gas line, 124 00:05:44,988 --> 00:05:46,089 how to rototill a yard. 125 00:05:46,089 --> 00:05:47,824 She's ready. 126 00:05:47,824 --> 00:05:49,559 We just got to let her start figuring out stuff for herself. 127 00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:50,760 What if it's about her roommate? 128 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,598 "Wearing blue skirt with blue shirt. Too much blue?" 129 00:05:54,598 --> 00:05:56,466 It is, Mike. It is. 130 00:05:56,466 --> 00:05:58,068 She has to break it up with something. 131 00:06:04,874 --> 00:06:09,012 All right, now, that's some Cornshucker pride! 132 00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:11,414 So, on Friday, 133 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,883 let's show those Jasper West Bearcats 134 00:06:13,883 --> 00:06:15,885 who's number one, huh?! 135 00:06:15,885 --> 00:06:16,886 All right! 136 00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:23,660 "The athletics at our school get all the glory and spirit, 137 00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,128 but there's one part of our school 138 00:06:25,128 --> 00:06:27,063 that's too easily overlooked. 139 00:06:27,063 --> 00:06:30,767 Please welcome our new mascot for the library, 140 00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:33,036 Bernie, the Bookmark." 141 00:06:33,036 --> 00:06:37,707 In retrospect, we really should have had Brick tell us about the pep rally. 142 00:06:46,783 --> 00:06:48,752 - * Everybody... * - Brick: Read. 143 00:06:48,752 --> 00:06:51,888 * ...now * 144 00:06:51,888 --> 00:06:55,558 Come on, everybody. Who's excited about reading? 145 00:06:55,558 --> 00:06:57,527 - * Everybody... * - Read. 146 00:06:57,527 --> 00:06:58,928 * ...now * 147 00:06:58,928 --> 00:07:02,365 You'd think his parents would have stopped this. 148 00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:03,033 - * Everybody... * - read. 149 00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,100 * ...now, yeah * 150 00:07:05,319 --> 00:07:09,539 Wow. That's a lot of ants. Where did our bowl of syrup go? 151 00:07:09,639 --> 00:07:11,508 They must have carried it off. 152 00:07:11,508 --> 00:07:12,809 And that was our only bowl! 153 00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:14,077 Hey. 154 00:07:14,077 --> 00:07:17,013 I think they spelled out "more syrup." 155 00:07:17,013 --> 00:07:20,417 Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. 156 00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:21,885 - Anteater. - You read my mind. 157 00:07:21,885 --> 00:07:23,386 Going on Craigslist right now. 158 00:07:23,386 --> 00:07:24,821 Um... 159 00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,361 Where you going, reader? 160 00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:33,396 Hey, are you the kid that just did that stupid dance? 161 00:07:34,397 --> 00:07:36,466 Uh... Yes. 162 00:07:36,466 --> 00:07:38,601 What? Do you like the library or something? 163 00:07:38,601 --> 00:07:39,803 I do. 164 00:07:39,803 --> 00:07:42,839 You know, if you embrace reading, it might change your life. 165 00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:45,775 Okay. Who wants to punch it first? 166 00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:48,778 Hey. Leave him alone. 167 00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:49,746 Whoa. 168 00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:52,082 Okay, fine, bookmark. 169 00:07:52,082 --> 00:07:54,050 But I'll remember where we left off. 170 00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:56,086 Good one. 171 00:07:56,086 --> 00:07:58,922 Oh, you didn't get that? 172 00:07:58,922 --> 00:08:01,424 Well, Kudos. It was clever. 173 00:08:01,424 --> 00:08:03,026 My name's not Kudos, idiot. 174 00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:05,929 Oh, for the love of God. Visit your local library. 175 00:08:16,773 --> 00:08:20,643 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 176 00:08:20,643 --> 00:08:23,046 Fine. I'm sending her a map of the campus. 177 00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:25,715 She has a map there. It's called outside her dorm. 178 00:08:25,715 --> 00:08:28,118 Look, she was just a little confused. 179 00:08:28,118 --> 00:08:30,487 She wondered if it was faster to get to Briscoe Hall 180 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:31,955 by going through the gym or cutting through the quad. 181 00:08:31,955 --> 00:08:34,491 You got to cut the cord, Frankie. 182 00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:35,959 You weren't on the call. 183 00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:38,461 I can tell this roommate thing is really upsetting her. 184 00:08:38,461 --> 00:08:40,463 I can hear the tremble in her voice. 185 00:08:40,463 --> 00:08:42,365 I talked to her, too. She sounded fine to me. 186 00:08:42,365 --> 00:08:43,833 Does she, Mike? 187 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,668 'Cause moms hear tremble. Dads don't hear tremble. 188 00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:47,837 You only hear the words. 189 00:08:47,837 --> 00:08:49,672 You don't hear the emotion behind the words. 190 00:08:49,672 --> 00:08:52,675 You know, you got to be aware of everything that's going on with your kid. 191 00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:53,810 Hmm. 192 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,645 Oh. Okay. 193 00:08:55,645 --> 00:08:56,813 I'm gonna put her on speaker. 194 00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:58,815 Really listen this time. 195 00:08:58,815 --> 00:09:01,050 Hi, honey. How's it going? 196 00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:03,653 Yeah, I can't talk, but I just wanted to let you know 197 00:09:03,653 --> 00:09:06,122 that some girls across the hall invited me to the lounge 198 00:09:06,122 --> 00:09:08,558 to hang out and listen to this guy on our floor play guitar. 199 00:09:08,558 --> 00:09:10,059 He wears sandals and looks like Jesus, 200 00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:12,395 and he wrote this song called "Blowin' in the Wind," I think. 201 00:09:12,395 --> 00:09:14,397 Wow. Well, that sounds great. 202 00:09:14,397 --> 00:09:18,568 Yeah, we're gonna push the couches back and sit in a circle and listen to him play! 203 00:09:18,568 --> 00:09:20,437 It's really starting, Mom. 204 00:09:20,437 --> 00:09:22,672 I love college. Got to go. 205 00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:26,576 Yeah, I guess I missed the tremble. 206 00:09:29,412 --> 00:09:32,582 My point is she just needed some time to settle in. 207 00:09:32,582 --> 00:09:34,551 If anybody's gonna be happy in college, it's Sue. 208 00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:35,685 Yeah. 209 00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:39,522 Yeah, so, Sue's happy, Axl's Axl, Brick's in bed, 210 00:09:39,522 --> 00:09:41,858 and I don't have any heartburn. 211 00:09:41,858 --> 00:09:44,894 I'm thinking maybe... 212 00:09:44,894 --> 00:09:48,398 Are you saying that's on the table? 213 00:09:48,398 --> 00:09:49,365 'Cause I can brush my teeth. 214 00:09:49,365 --> 00:09:50,533 Oh, it's on the table. 215 00:09:50,533 --> 00:09:51,634 Hot damn! 216 00:09:57,907 --> 00:10:00,743 Hi. 217 00:10:00,743 --> 00:10:02,045 Why are you back in your room? 218 00:10:02,045 --> 00:10:04,447 It was horrible, Mom. 219 00:10:04,447 --> 00:10:05,482 I mean, it was great at first. 220 00:10:05,482 --> 00:10:08,852 But then after he was done playing, everyone started talking about politics. 221 00:10:08,852 --> 00:10:11,521 Mom, do you know there are people who don't love America? 222 00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:13,022 Yeah, I've heard that. 223 00:10:13,022 --> 00:10:15,425 And did you know that some policemen are mean? 224 00:10:15,425 --> 00:10:17,126 I didn't even know that could happen. 225 00:10:17,126 --> 00:10:19,562 Well, I couldn't sit there and listen to everyone 226 00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,030 badmouth our country, so I just ran out. 227 00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:24,100 And they called me naive. They said I was part of the problem. 228 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,401 I'm not part of the problem, am I, Mom? 229 00:10:25,401 --> 00:10:26,803 Oh, honey. Of course not. 230 00:10:26,803 --> 00:10:30,707 Can you just talk to me until I fall asleep? 231 00:10:30,707 --> 00:10:33,877 Sure. Of course. 232 00:10:37,447 --> 00:10:39,749 Uh, let's see. What happened today? 233 00:10:39,749 --> 00:10:42,852 Well, the muffler finally fell off of Dad's car. 234 00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:44,754 - Oh, no. - Yeah, I know. 235 00:10:44,754 --> 00:10:47,056 I'm sure they didn't mean it. 236 00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:02,939 Well, here we are. 237 00:11:02,939 --> 00:11:05,608 Thanks for walking me home. Again. 238 00:11:05,608 --> 00:11:07,777 But you really don't have to keep doing this. 239 00:11:07,777 --> 00:11:10,580 The girl who threw up in the pool kind of took the heat off me. 240 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:14,417 I know. See you tomorrow. 241 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:20,456 Okay. Party's over, ants. 242 00:11:20,456 --> 00:11:22,559 Make peace with your Ant Lord. 243 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:24,594 We got an angry, ant-eating machine... 244 00:11:24,594 --> 00:11:27,764 Oh, he's licking me! 245 00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:30,767 All right, Ferret Bueller, get your eat on. 246 00:11:32,602 --> 00:11:34,604 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 247 00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:35,805 Oh! 248 00:11:35,805 --> 00:11:36,940 Why did you leave the back door open? 249 00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,641 So girls could get in. 250 00:11:42,645 --> 00:11:44,113 Uh, w-who's there? 251 00:11:44,113 --> 00:11:47,083 I live here. 252 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:49,919 Oh, my God! Oh, you're Holly Haypek! 253 00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:53,919 I'm Sue Heck. Oh. 254 00:11:54,557 --> 00:11:56,826 Oh, I've been waiting for you forever. 255 00:11:56,826 --> 00:11:58,528 So, where are you from? I'm from Orson. 256 00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:00,530 I used to have long hair, but now I don't. 257 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:01,731 I don't know if you like these posters, 258 00:12:01,731 --> 00:12:02,865 but I have some extras for your side if you want. 259 00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:04,567 No beer? 260 00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,903 No. But there's a hot-fudge sundae in there for you. 261 00:12:06,903 --> 00:12:09,072 Anyway, it's so good you're finally here, 262 00:12:09,072 --> 00:12:10,940 because you almost missed all of freshman week. 263 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,743 Yeah, well, I'm a junior, so not really an issue. 264 00:12:13,743 --> 00:12:15,979 Oh. That's kind of weird that they put a junior 265 00:12:15,979 --> 00:12:17,614 and a freshman together. 266 00:12:17,614 --> 00:12:21,551 But, hey, we can still go to the dorm mixer and the roommate games. 267 00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:22,885 Yeah. Nobody goes to those. They're lame. 268 00:12:22,885 --> 00:12:24,420 Oh, okay. 269 00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:28,524 Well, that's the first time I've ever heard of an egg-and-spoon race being lame, 270 00:12:28,524 --> 00:12:30,426 but that is a really good tip. 271 00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:33,896 See? It's a great thing I've got a junior for a roomie. 272 00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:37,100 You can show me the ropes. Anything else I should know? 273 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,469 Yeah, okay, uh, let's see. 274 00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:41,638 Freshman year sucks. Sophomore year sucks. 275 00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:42,939 I'll let you know about junior year, 276 00:12:42,939 --> 00:12:44,107 but it's not looking good. 277 00:12:44,107 --> 00:12:45,775 I already got hosed in the housing lottery. 278 00:12:45,775 --> 00:12:47,443 I asked for a single. 279 00:12:48,544 --> 00:12:50,647 I'm going out. 280 00:12:50,647 --> 00:12:53,016 Bye. 281 00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:57,654 Hey. What are you doing? 282 00:12:57,654 --> 00:13:00,123 It's Sue. She's texting me now. 283 00:13:00,123 --> 00:13:01,491 Go back to sleep. 284 00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:03,893 What? It's 3:00 in the morning. 285 00:13:03,893 --> 00:13:06,729 Yeah. The roommate finally showed up. 286 00:13:06,729 --> 00:13:09,032 Oh, no. That bad? 287 00:13:09,032 --> 00:13:10,700 It's not good. 288 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,403 Ugh. 289 00:13:13,403 --> 00:13:17,974 This is so hard. When is it gonna stop? 290 00:13:17,974 --> 00:13:19,976 You know, I think you were right. 291 00:13:19,976 --> 00:13:22,879 We've been too available. I think we're making it worse. 292 00:13:22,879 --> 00:13:25,682 Well, we don't have a long history of making things better. 293 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,885 Hang on. 294 00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,455 Says she's got one more thing. 295 00:13:32,455 --> 00:13:33,956 Okay. You know what? No. No, no, no. 296 00:13:33,956 --> 00:13:36,859 I'm making a decision. We are cutting the cord. 297 00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:39,362 Oh, you're making that decision just right now, are you? 298 00:13:39,362 --> 00:13:41,364 Listen, you were right. 299 00:13:41,364 --> 00:13:42,999 I mean, with Sue, it's always one more thing. 300 00:13:42,999 --> 00:13:46,536 One more story, one more hug, one more glass of water. 301 00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:50,139 No, we... we just have to close the door and say good night. 302 00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:51,841 Ferberize our freshman. 303 00:13:51,841 --> 00:13:54,677 I'm saying, "I'm sure you'll figure it out. 304 00:13:54,677 --> 00:13:57,480 It's late. We're going to bed." 305 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,482 Oh, that's... that's a little harsh. 306 00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:02,852 Just send her an emoji. 307 00:14:04,387 --> 00:14:05,888 I think I sent a frog. 308 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,356 That's good. She likes frogs. 309 00:14:36,853 --> 00:14:39,689 Okay, seriously, what do you want from me? 310 00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:43,359 I already said I don't have anything, so if this is some kind of shakedown... 311 00:14:43,359 --> 00:14:44,594 I don't want anything. 312 00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:46,763 Then why are you protecting me? 313 00:14:46,763 --> 00:14:49,999 I know what it's like to be the little guy who gets picked on. 314 00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:51,934 You do? 315 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,637 In my family, my nickname is Tiny. 316 00:14:54,637 --> 00:14:57,140 So you were just being nice? 317 00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,509 Now I wish there was some way I could repay you. 318 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:01,811 Actually, there is something. 319 00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:06,983 - * Everybody... * - Read. 320 00:15:06,983 --> 00:15:08,651 - * ...now * - So, you just bend at the waist, 321 00:15:08,651 --> 00:15:10,520 and you move your arms up and down. 322 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,955 - Like this? - You got it! 323 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:16,692 We can do this every day, if you want. My parents don't care about me anymore. 324 00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:19,362 - * Everybody... * - Read. 325 00:15:19,362 --> 00:15:20,930 * ...now * 326 00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:25,101 Oh, hi. You're back finally. 327 00:15:25,101 --> 00:15:27,103 You know, one thing I was thinking might be helpful 328 00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:29,071 is if we write where we are on the memo board. 329 00:15:29,071 --> 00:15:31,073 That way, if someone is gone for a couple days, 330 00:15:31,073 --> 00:15:32,909 nobody has to worry or call the police. 331 00:15:32,909 --> 00:15:36,412 For instance, I'm here, so I wrote "here." 332 00:15:36,412 --> 00:15:38,548 Ooh, something new for the room? 333 00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:39,916 You got tape? 334 00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:43,916 You, my friend, have come to the right place. 335 00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:48,090 This is my craft box. Okay. Let's see. 336 00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:49,659 Tape, tape, tape, tape. 337 00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:52,461 I've got one-sided, uh, multi-colored, masking. 338 00:15:52,461 --> 00:15:54,096 Okay, so, 339 00:15:54,096 --> 00:15:56,432 I want you to feel free to use this anytime 340 00:15:56,432 --> 00:15:58,067 you're feeling crafty. 341 00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,669 Ah. 342 00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,871 Oh. 343 00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,639 Okay. 344 00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:07,810 Well, that's an interesting thing to do to life. 345 00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:09,579 What's the matter? Does that bother you? 346 00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:12,615 Well, I would rather love life, 347 00:16:12,615 --> 00:16:15,651 but, you know, that's the great thing about college. 348 00:16:15,651 --> 00:16:17,687 You know, we can have different opinions, 349 00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:19,822 but we can still find some common ground. 350 00:16:19,822 --> 00:16:22,058 I mean, we both like posters and tape. 351 00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:23,659 Okay, listen. 352 00:16:23,659 --> 00:16:25,795 You seem like a nice enough person. 353 00:16:25,795 --> 00:16:29,799 But I'm gonna save you some time. We're not gonna be best friends. 354 00:16:30,696 --> 00:16:34,566 Or paint each other's nails or stand up at each other's weddings 355 00:16:34,566 --> 00:16:36,869 or get together with our husbands 20 years from now 356 00:16:36,869 --> 00:16:38,537 and remember the good times. 357 00:16:38,537 --> 00:16:42,908 It's nothing personal against you. I don't like people. 358 00:16:42,908 --> 00:16:45,711 I'm just here to get my nursing degree and get out of here. 359 00:16:45,711 --> 00:16:49,711 Now, my boyfriend's coming over tonight, so... 360 00:16:49,712 --> 00:16:53,850 You can stay here and watch, but you can't participate. 361 00:16:53,861 --> 00:16:55,863 Okay. Yeah. I get it. 362 00:16:55,863 --> 00:16:59,633 I have seen some TV-14 shows. 363 00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:03,170 I'm just gonna, uh, find someplace else to sleep. 364 00:17:03,170 --> 00:17:06,540 Or walk the campus all night. Either way, I'm good. 365 00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:09,009 Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. 366 00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:21,588 Hey! You're not allowed to pass out in the lounge. 367 00:17:21,588 --> 00:17:24,692 Oh, I'm not drunk. I'm just sleeping. 368 00:17:24,692 --> 00:17:26,560 You got a room for that. 369 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,929 Actually, no, see, I don't. 370 00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:32,099 My... my roommate is a junior, and she has this boyfriend. 371 00:17:32,099 --> 00:17:33,867 Yeah, I'm gonna have to write you up. 372 00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:35,703 But I... but I've never been written up before. 373 00:17:35,703 --> 00:17:37,705 Oh, my God. I'm getting written up. 374 00:17:37,705 --> 00:17:39,039 No. 375 00:17:39,039 --> 00:17:41,842 Ugh. Freshmen. 376 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:53,529 Mom. I got... Written up. 377 00:17:56,557 --> 00:17:58,692 S-S-S-Sue, slow down, okay? Focus. 378 00:17:58,692 --> 00:18:01,462 I need complete sentences a-and words. 379 00:18:01,462 --> 00:18:04,598 It was all Holly's fault. 380 00:18:04,598 --> 00:18:06,767 And she doesn't even act like a Holly. 381 00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:10,504 She put swears on the walls and she's not even here now 382 00:18:10,504 --> 00:18:12,973 and I don't know where she is and I never know where she is. 383 00:18:12,973 --> 00:18:15,943 She never writes on the memo board. 384 00:18:15,943 --> 00:18:18,812 And she called Taylor Swift a skank, 385 00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:22,783 and I tried to tell her that she's just unlucky in love. 386 00:18:22,783 --> 00:18:26,783 And that I saw her in concert and she was awesome! 387 00:18:27,988 --> 00:18:31,091 Okay, Sue, honey. You just have to give it some time. 388 00:18:31,091 --> 00:18:33,127 And not just that. 389 00:18:33,127 --> 00:18:35,529 I'm making bad choices. 390 00:18:35,529 --> 00:18:38,499 I'm only eating ice-cream sandwiches, 391 00:18:38,499 --> 00:18:41,835 and I haven't pooped in three days! 392 00:18:41,835 --> 00:18:44,838 I keep waiting for nobody to be in the bathroom, 393 00:18:44,838 --> 00:18:47,808 but there's always somebody in the bathroom! 394 00:18:47,808 --> 00:18:49,943 I tried at 3:00 A.M., 395 00:18:49,943 --> 00:18:53,113 but that's when the barfers come in. 396 00:18:53,113 --> 00:18:54,148 What is she saying? 397 00:18:54,148 --> 00:18:56,950 She can't poop in front of Taylor Swift? 398 00:18:56,950 --> 00:18:58,118 And I know. 399 00:18:58,118 --> 00:19:02,118 I'm sorry that I keep bothering you. 400 00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:06,460 You said I was ready for this, but I... 401 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,529 I'm not. 402 00:19:08,529 --> 00:19:11,832 And... and I don't want to be here anymore. 403 00:19:11,832 --> 00:19:17,037 And I hate college. And I just want to come home! 404 00:19:17,037 --> 00:19:20,174 Screw Ferber. We're heading up there. 405 00:19:20,174 --> 00:19:22,743 Already out the door. 406 00:19:27,981 --> 00:19:30,417 Axl. 407 00:19:30,417 --> 00:19:31,685 What's going on? 408 00:19:31,685 --> 00:19:33,587 Oh, my God. Mom and Dad are dead. 409 00:19:33,587 --> 00:19:34,988 No. They're fine. 410 00:19:34,988 --> 00:19:37,024 I just thought maybe you'd want to get some pizza or something. 411 00:19:37,024 --> 00:19:38,826 Really? 412 00:19:38,826 --> 00:19:41,695 That's another question. You're down to six. 413 00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:48,068 And she doesn't even put sheets on the bed. 414 00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:49,770 She just sleeps on an old coat. 415 00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:52,806 Ugh. Well, at least she leaves sometimes. 416 00:19:52,806 --> 00:19:55,442 Kenny was always around. It drove me nuts. 417 00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:57,578 I mean, we're all buds now, but that first month away, 418 00:19:57,578 --> 00:19:59,613 I was... pretty homesick. 419 00:19:59,613 --> 00:20:02,783 Really? I didn't know about that. 420 00:20:02,783 --> 00:20:04,718 Oh, yeah. There were times where I really missed 421 00:20:04,718 --> 00:20:05,719 Mom and Dad a lot. 422 00:20:05,719 --> 00:20:08,889 You did? Did you tell them? 423 00:20:08,889 --> 00:20:10,891 No way. Why's that their business? 424 00:20:10,891 --> 00:20:13,760 Anyway, I just wanted to check in, 425 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,562 make sure you're doing okay, you know, not sitting around, 426 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,564 listening to emo music or something. 427 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:22,069 Yeah, well, maybe I'm doing okay. 428 00:20:22,069 --> 00:20:26,675 Look, it sucks for everyone at first, but by Thanksgiving, 429 00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:28,377 you're gonna be having so much fun, you won't even want to go home. 430 00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:31,047 Except for, like, food and laundry, money, stuff. 431 00:20:33,282 --> 00:20:34,717 Also, I could never take a dump in the dorms, 432 00:20:34,717 --> 00:20:36,786 so I would suggest doing all your pooping at home. 433 00:20:36,786 --> 00:20:38,988 Oh. 434 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,695 It says "getting pizza." 435 00:20:45,695 --> 00:20:47,697 Yeah, but that could be old. 436 00:20:47,697 --> 00:20:49,999 Well, it says 10:09 P.M. and today's date. 437 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,336 Oh. 438 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:56,973 A ferret?! Cute! Can I see it? 439 00:20:56,973 --> 00:21:00,209 Well, we actually kind of lost it. But we're gonna get it back. 440 00:21:00,209 --> 00:21:01,778 Put a bowl of syrup outside. 441 00:21:01,778 --> 00:21:05,014 Yep, you can try to cut the cord, 442 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:10,153 but the truth is you don't get to stop being parents, no matter how old your kids get. 443 00:21:10,153 --> 00:21:14,153 And with moments like these, why would you want to? 444 00:21:17,293 --> 00:21:20,296 Did we tell Brick we were leaving? 445 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:26,092 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 446 00:21:26,142 --> 00:21:30,692 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0